Citalopram

[Sasha]

Since I just described my experience with Beta Blockers I thought maybe I should list my experience with the only other drugs I have been prescribed for this sort of malarkey.

I had a period of depression a few years ago. I?d felt bad before bu tthis time I realised I was just not getting out of it.

The doctor prescribed a drug named Citaloproam.

Citaloproam is a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs).

Serotonin is the stuff in your brain that makes you feel nice. So lots of it will make you feel nicer. This Serotonin is sloshing around in your brain naturally and is absorbed naturally (reuptake). The idea with an SSRI is that it inhibits the reuptake of Serotonin and leaves it sloshing around in your brain. Hence you feel nice.

I started taking 20mg tablets. One a day I think it was. On the second day I felt great but that eased off and I think it was just placebo effect. I think I felt good that I?d done something.

Then after about 4 days I started to get very very anxious. I couldn?t sleep at night and I rang the doctor in the middle of the night with almost a panic attack. I was told that this was a potential side effect and it would pass.

I took a week off work feeling very anxious. The anxiety eased.

Then, very gradually I started to feel better. I found myself thinking about the same things that had depressed me (and there was plenty) but I found myself thinking positive thought. Not huge, euphoria. Just thought like, ?yeh, but to hell with that, it?s over?. Optimistic, dismissive thoughts.

So I started to feel ?more myself? and much less depressed.

I may have just stayed on them for a long time but they made me tired.

It didn?t happen immediately but I found I was not getting up on the weekend until maybe 2pm and even then I would have to really force myself. Gradually I was losing my weekends.

I don?t know why this happened as the doctors say that, if anything, Citalopram will stop you sleeping. Not me though. Mind you I always like to sleep.

So, after about 2 years I stopped taking Citalopram.

There were no effects to coming off. I was advised to do it in the spring which I did.

I?ve been off for about six months and I have not relapsed. I think I stopped being SO positive though lately I think this automatic optimism may have started to return.

I still have the anxiety on occasions but Citalopram did a good job at treating my depression.

Hope this is of use to people.

[BRAILLEhouserock]

I've had weird experiences with them, They deprived me of sleep once, but that soon wore off, I am back on them and they seem to take the edge off.

[Sasha]

I think I was on Citalopram for 1 or 2 years so they took time to have their full impact.

[Capricorn]

I have been on anti depressants for some time now and have just changed over to one called Duloxetine. I am finding it really hard to get up in the mornings and feel extremely tired a lot of the time. I just wondered if others experience this, it just makes me feel like I am lazy and hopeless.

When I open my eyes the first thing I feel is afraid, I don't know half the time what I'm afraid of it's just there in the pit of my stomach. I get up make a cup of tea and write a lot of the worries down to try and kick start the day, but sometimes I don't seem to get out of the flat until late.

I am starting an NVQ in January and have an interview next week. I am so anxious that I won't be able to get up or will have anxiety attacks doing the course. Money is very very bad and at the moment I feel so scared and overwhelmed again. I am trying to keep going, think of my son and put it in perspective but the big lonely cloud of fear is there all the time.

I am so grateful to the meets on Wednesday and have met some brilliant friends. I just wanted to share this on here this morning to take the edge of, it makes me feel less alone. Thankyou for reading...Eli 

[mrbob]

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling Eli.

I have intermittent problems with sleep (although not through medication). Over the last week I have been in a kind of flight or fight thing. When I am this anxious I really struggle with sleeping and it sometimes feels difficult to keep on top of things. I often wake up feeling very fearful but I think in my case it is straightforward existentialism. I am worrying about the meaninglessness of my life, getting older and mortality. I think this gets worse for me as we near the end of the year and there is an unconscious summing up of things - or in other words 'yep, another crap year'. 

I know you well enough now to state you are neither lazy or hopeless. But we struggle to do as much as other people due to our health. We can only do what we are capable of doing. The best thing if you are feeling anxious is to try to relax, meditate, not push yourself too much. You don't have to sleep to gain energy, meditation is amazingly good for gaining energy. It doesn't have to be spiritual just quiet. And with a bit of positive energy you can hopefully reinvigorate a bit more of a positive image of yourself. You deserve it.

Writing it all down is a really good thing to do.

Oh a possible piece of advice. I have one of those little oil burners and I burn lavender oil. It is so incredibly relaxing. It is the most effective thing I know that calms me from racing thoughts and anxiety.

regards Mr Bob

[Capricorn]

 Thankyou so much for your kind and thoughtful message Rob it has helped so much. I think when we are anxious we just batter ourselves constantly always focusing on the things we haven't done instead of the good things we have achieved. It's funny you know if someone says "oh I couldn't do that because my leg is in plaster" it would seem somehow excusable, but I get into that train of thought where instead I am thinking "oh for goodness sake get on with it and be like normal people" (whatever normal is!!!!). Anxiety, depression and all the other problems that are linked to it is debilitating as we all know yet I can't seem to get my head round that.

I am so glad for this site and the lovely supportive people who I have met that are going through similar feelings and fear, it is a life saver. Once again thanks Rob and I hope to see you Wednesday at the meeting...Eli

[Sasha]

I think one thing that occurs to me about depression and anxiety is "how the hell did I get into this?"

What is it about me that makes me like this? Some times it's depressing but sometimes I am angry with myself.

People with their legs in plaster get to tell their story to explain it. "I was in a bike accident" , "I fell over skiiing". Whatever.

What do we say? Tell them the story of our lives? "....and it may have been that which started it off...."

Hey ho. I must try and get to another one of the Wednesdays.

[mrbob]

Yeah that's a really interesting point Sasha. It isn't just a difficult story to tell but a story of a lifetime.

[Capricorn]

I totally agree Sasha very wise words and thanks for sharing that. Be good to see you at the meeting soon...Eli