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Author Topic: Clawing at the walls  (Read 1539 times)

Offline WaveyDL

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Clawing at the walls
« on: May 11, 2009, 11:50:07 AM »
Now I'm no agoraphobic but today is a beautiful day and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs feeling sorry for myself.

I want to be at work (need a job first) or going to see some friends or something. It's getting hard to go out for no reason. Just to move and not sit here and stagnate.

I AM going out today and I will walk around town and maybe even goto the museum and try and entertain myself but my enthusiasm is dwindling.

Not sure why I'm posting other than to communicate with someone else other than maybe someone in coffee shop when I buy a drink.

End of moan time to go before I start on Facebook again ;)
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Offline Zteve

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2009, 12:12:32 PM »
It is difficult if you're on your own to summon the enthusiasm to leave your four walls, even if you're not agoraphobic, when there's nothing obvious 'to do'.

That said, it IS a beautiful day, and the rest of the week is going to be horrible, so maybe just go and sit on the beach/in a park for a bit and soak up a few rays.

You'll definitely feel better for it. I did the exact opposite yesterday, perferring to watch football all day, and was pretty annoyed at myself come the evening for wasting the day.
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Offline WaveyDL

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2009, 05:25:01 PM »
After a five(ish) hour walk and a cup of coffee I'm knackered but happier :8

Even did a few more drawings that'll be stuck up on deviantART tomorrow maybe.

Now what to do with all this up coming rain...? lol
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Offline Alexandra

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2009, 05:26:06 PM »
Ahhh I wish I could have joined you today, it was so nice! Unfortunately I was stuck in a self assessment workshop >:(
This tax return is not helping my anxiety lol!

Glad you did some more drawings though, I shall have a look when they're on deviant art.
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Offline WaveyDL

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2009, 05:28:12 PM »
We can always go play in the rain another day.

Time to watch Hubble Live on discovery  :o
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Offline interloper

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2009, 12:31:33 AM »
@Alexandra: "This tax return is not helping my anxiety lol!"  I sympathise. My ex and I had an equally memorable time putting one of those to bed a few years ago.

@WavyDL: "It's getting hard to go out for no reason." That's one of reasons I eventually gave up the car and barricaded myself indoors. My problem, if one can call it a problem, is that I rarely get bored.

Glad you made it out though David, sounds like it did you good. Zteve's right with regard to soaking up the sun. Those UV rays are a good remedy for depression. Look forward to seeing your latest sketches. I must also put my photos online from my day trip.

We don't have a forum to show off our creative side do we? How about it Martin?
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Offline WaveyDL

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2009, 07:02:41 PM »
Quote
Glad you did some more drawings though, I shall have a look when they're on deviant art.

Just uploaded. Dam but I'm a slacker ;)
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Offline Noisy

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #7 on: May 15, 2009, 07:21:37 PM »
Quote from: interloper on May 12, 2009, 12:31:33 AM
We don't have a forum to show off our creative side do we? How about it Martin?

You're very welcome to start one. The chatterbox section seems most appropriate for the moment. It's probably best, long term, to host any pictures externally but it's also possible to attach images (up to 300Kb) to your posts. I'm going to start a picture thread for members who are brave enough to post a photo of themselves.  :o
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Offline Capricorn

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2009, 11:25:03 AM »
Hi to all you lovely people on the forum.

I wanted to send in this post because right now I'm sitting here really frightened.

A few weeks back I thought I was getting places.....lots of positive thinking and writing, reading, going to my playgroup to work with the kids, doing my NVQ and socialising more. Been having trouble with arthritis in both hips, however, and suddenly out the blue I've sunk into this black depression again because the pain is so bad and it hurts to do all the things that I was doing, catch 22!!!

I feel like I'm back to square one, afraid to go out, struggling to get out of bed, exhaustion and pain bad and feeling like I don't want to carry on but have to. I hate being negative and I hate this beating me, at the moment I have lost all my fight again. It helps to share as I know everyone on here is going through their own fears and stuff.

I'm angry yet don't want to be self piteous,  sometimes I feel like screaming "leave me alone" to this debilitating illness!!!! Gonna have to take this day by day and remember I'm not alone and I've got amazing lovely friends and my fantastic son. Sorry if this all sounds self-piteous I don't want it to I'm just desperate to feel "normal" again.  Thanks for reading......Eli x
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Offline WaveyDL

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2009, 12:56:05 PM »
Normal is unachievable by everyone but your right, your not alone!

Hang in there :)
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Offline Noisy

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2009, 01:20:06 PM »
Hi Eli, I wish you well my love.

You've come so far in the time I've known you. There have been bumps (sometimes big ones!) along the way but you are a fighter and I'm sure that you'll be OK in the end. We're also seriously considering re-instating a daytime meet if you can make it. Just like the old days!

Take care,
Martin. :)
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Offline Capricorn

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2009, 07:59:11 PM »
Thankyou for the support really means a lot right now. Today was better then yesterday so I suppose I have to hang on to that and just take it day at a time. Many thanks and hugs Eli xx
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Offline Mariposa

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2009, 10:49:33 AM »
Hi

I can relate completely. I work full time but I have been signed off this week with depression-taking some pills called Duloxetine. I love being out in the sunshine bt at the moment all I want to do is curl up on the sofa & watch the TV, however this is somewhat comforting & safe & I dread going back to work next week, despite the fact that I do like my job.

I have a physical disability but I can deal with that, however, mental illness of any kind is torture.

Hope ur nails are ok-climbing the walls tends to have a detrimental effect on them.

Take care

Mariposa
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Offline Capricorn

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2009, 03:43:35 PM »
Thankyou Mariposa for your post.  I actually take Duloxetine as well they help to a certain degree but I still get days where it's pretty crap as everyone on the Forum can identify with.

I think it's the pain at the moment that is the worse, I'm taking this Morphine based pain relief called Oramorph, but it doesn't help the pain much to be honest and boy I am so tired all the time. What I find helps me is to write things down, positive affirmations and goals and I also try to say to myself this is temporary and it will get better again. Also knowing there are loads of people that suffer and understand helps to feel less isolated.

I have made some fantastic friends through the Forum, lovely lovely people. Bless you all and keep fighting!! Eli
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Offline dtrotter

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Re: Clawing at the walls
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2009, 05:31:13 AM »
have you try to get out to bars or lounge to meet new people? Well, at cafe you can always chat up with random strangers :) that's what i do when i get lonely :)
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