Hi all

[rachel]

I'm 24 and I suffer from social anxiety (I'm even nervous writing this!) This is something that I have put up with all my life, but now I feel that I have to see someone before it consumes my life completely.

I get incredibly nervous in social situations and am really intimidated by new people, especially girls. I do have a boyfriend and a couple of friends that I have had for years but I cant seem to conduct myself in social situations with the same confidence and ease that I have with my boyfriend and family.  I find it very difficult to have a conversation with a stranger, immediately feeling extremely self conscious and red faced. My mouth goes dry and I just feel like an idiot. I don't understand why I can't talk to people.

I avoid soical situations as much as possible and have even jus pulled out of a New Years Eve party with my best friend as I don't know anyone else at the party and I am so petrified of talking to the other people there.

Wow, this all sounds so stupid when I read it back to myself, and then that makes me angry with myself. How can I let something so irrational become so debilitating?

Anyway like I said I need to get help to sort out what is going wrong in my head and I feel positive that I am doing something about it. The thing is I don't know where to start...anyone know where I can seek help in Brighton?

I'm pleased that I have found this site and that I can talk to others and realise that I am not on my own.

[Noisy]

Hi Rachel, welcome to the forum.

The first place to seek help would be your GP. He or she can refer you for an assessment with the local NHS psychology department or psychiatrist who will then suggest a course of treatment that they think is appropriate. This is likely to be one or more of these options:

• Medication
• Talking therapy such as CBT
• A referral to the 'Brighton Day Hospital' or 'Wish Day Hospital'.

I have attended the Brighton Day Hospital and found it to be very helpful. They offer a two tier system where the first level is attending art, relaxation and clay 'classes' etc where the focus is mainly on just managing to attend regularly and meeting new people. You would also meet your 'Primary Nurse' weekly to discuss any issues. All of the staff I have met there were fantastic and very helpful. The second tier involves more focus on your actual problems within a group and it is very likely that you will have known the rest of the group from tier one. I never attended tier two myself since I was referred for CBT elsewhere but I have talked to a few people about it and all have said that it had been useful and perhaps a little challenging.

CBT is a very useful form of therapy. I'm on the waiting list and should be starting anytime soon. I've also had this therapy privately and found it to be very useful.

Medication can be useful for some people.

Actually, the whole NHS mental health system in Brighton and Hove is undergoing some big changes at the moment so I recommend that you see your GP and see what's out there!

Many private treatments are also available if you have the money (I don't).

Take care Rachel, Please feel free to contact me directly if you like. I'm still away from home at the moment (until Saturday) and trying to use an ancient french laptop that is about to explode!!! 

Best wishes, happy new year!
Martin