Children learn what they live - a poem by Dorothy Law Nolte

[stresspuppy]

Hi BAFers, just wanted to share another poem. I defy anyone not to find something useful in this poem - It's not just a favourite of mine but globally and I think can be interesting when we apply it to early lessons we all learn that can help shape us. Thought it might have some relevance to self-esteem issues. My interpretation is it's not about blaming our parents and their parenting skills but I think just being duly aware of how influential we can be from what we can put out there. Don't see any reason why this doesn't also apply to us grown ups. Enjoy!


Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance
he learns to be patient.

if a child lives with encouragement
he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise
he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness
he learns justice.

If a child lives with security
he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance
and friendship he learns to
find love in the world.


by Dorothy Law Nolte (1954)

A second version

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright ? 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

[Capricorn]

I have that poem on my bathroom wall and I think it must strike a chord with a lot of  people. The messages we are given as children are so important in shaping our confidence and sense of self worth, if the messages have been critical or negative it does create a low self image that continues into adulthood.

They say that the first 3 years of our lives are when we develop our true personalities and it shapes us for the rest of our lives, we are like little sponges soaking up eveything we are told and it stays there. Adults are like Gods to a small child. I have worked with really small children and it made me realise how important it is to praise them, make them feel good about themselves, their little faces when they show you one of their pictures and you tell them how lovely it is really warms your heart.

Thanks for posting that Andy.....brilliant.......Eli x