Hello!

[musicman]

Hi everyone, I guess this is where I introduce myself then!

I've only just come across this website, having only been in Brighton for three months (I've never done anything like this before since I have a bad habit of thinking that I have to cope with everything myself).
I quick rundown of my experiences- I've had anxiety issues since I was a wee nipper but it didn't really cause me huge problems until about four or five years ago. I started having panic attacks etc and eventually got to the point where I would hardly leave my room. A doctor put me on anti-depressants but I decided to kick them three years ago and try and face things without them.
I've made good progress since then and done a lot to "face the fears" as they say but the anxiety remains a constant and is incredibly draining sometimes.
It seems to be a family trait- my mum had a nervous breakdown when I was a kid, three of my aunts have alcohol problems as do some of my cousins; my sister has also been treated for depression.

Anyway that's enough boring waffle about me, how are you? 

[bobble]

Hi musicman and welcome. I like the user name how did you chose it?
I also have a bad habit of trying to muddle along on my own. Since becoming part this group, I have slowly began to ask for help from others, when I need it. I get what you say about facing your fears. This has been my approach since giving my life another, which I started about 7 months ago. The best approach for me seems to be to do in it batches. That is to go for it and in at the deep end, maybe for a few weeks and then to rest. I think it's important to allow for mistakes,there is much that can be learned from them. I learned the other day that I was pushing the wrong fears. I thought that I needed to challenge my self consciousness by going out and looking ridicules but I came to understand that the real challenge was to go out as my self.
I hope you post again soon

[musicman]

Hi bobbie,

Thanks for the reply! I'm glad that you started to ask for help I still feel really anxious about that, even now. I like what you're saying about challenging the self-conciousness, this is a HUGE obstacle to overcome and yes the real challenge is just being yourself. People don't necessarily want you to be the loudest or most ridiculous, they just want you to be real, but that's easier said than done! I tend to beat myself up way too much for any percieved "mistakes" that the possible lessons get overlooked.
On the other hand any time that you face a fear which is something you've always wanted to do no matter how small is a victory, even if you think you made a mess of things. What other kind of things have you been facing? And what do you do to prepare for it? (tell me if I'm being too personal!)
As for the name, music is a big passion of mine and I've played guitar for 10 years. So musicman seemed a logical choice. I glad you like it.

[Jupiter]

Hi Musicman, I LOVE music too. I think that is what got me through my childhood without suiciding!! What music are you into? I like everything from Tool to Air, Johnny Cash to Ozomatli and being aussie am a huge Nick Cave.  fan. I dont own a tv and just have the ipod on shuffle all day and listen to music, helps calm me down and keep me semi-sane. I remember my idiot mother making me take down my Smiths and doors posters from my wall when I was a kid as she didnt like the look of them. Certainly won't be doing that to my baby girl!!
Anyway nice to read you post, I know its hard I am new to this as well and we should be proud we are making this step. I hope to get to a meet up one day soon, how about you?

[Alexandra]

I like everything from Tool to Air

Tool and Air you say??? Damn you have good taste!

Musicman, what kind of guitar do you play? Classical, electric etc?

[Jupiter]

Thanks Alexandra, What other music do you like? Do you ever get out to see bands? I am not great in crowds so dont get to much these days but I used to see bands alot, I saw Perfect Circle in Sydney which was amazing!

[Alexandra]

I saw Perfect Circle in Sydney which was amazing!

OMG I AM SO JEALOUS!!!

MJK never comes to England It's rubbish. My friend in New Zealand has seen Tool so many times, they always seem to be over your way!

This year I've seen Katatonia, Riverside and Blackfield, last year I saw Disturbed, Katatonia, Opeth, Porcupine Tree and Pendulum. It's been a good couple of years for gigs!

I like prog rock and metal, along with electronic music that explores new sounds. Stuff that's new and exciting and has been thought about a lot by the composer, down to the smallest details. That's probably something to do with me being a classical musician..... and when it comes to classical music, I like mostly French and Russian music from around the turn of last century. So, Debussy, Ravel, Rimsky-Korsakov, Prokofiev etc etc.

[musicman]

Hello Jupiter and Alexandra!

Personally I like a lot of music but ever since I discovered Hendrix at 17 my first love is the blues, classic rock and prog rock (but not the cheesy crap) so Yes, ELP, Zeppelin, Jefferson Airplane but also more recent like At the Drive In, Deftones, John Frusciante. I also like Chopin's piano pieces, they're so relaxing and they help to keep me calm!
I play acoustic guitar the most at the moment but I played electric in a band until recently (we were called Aphasia which was my friends idea, it's some kind of illness that affects the speech centre of the brain. My friend has a strange sense of humour.)
Alexandra what instruments do you play?  and Jupiter I love the fact you don't own a TV! Every time I say to people I don't watch TV they ask "what do you do then?" with pitying eyes as if I must lead such an empty life; erm you know like read, listen to music, talk to my friends! Shocking

[Alexandra]

AHHHHH I looooooooooove Yes! I saw them live a few years back, still so awesome even after all these years. I was also a huuuuuuuuuge Rick Wakeman fan when I was at school, and last Christmas had the privilege of playing alongside him at a private function in London. HAHA I was so starstruck!

Chopin is great too, I played loads of his pieces when I was studying piano. My hands are too small for Rach or Liszt, but I could do Chopin and Debussy, just about! I'm a harpist now, taking my first diploma in 6 weeks time. EEEEEK!

Hee hee Aphasia is an awesome name for a band

[Jupiter]

Hey again, yes i love piano music as well and find it so relaxing. Deftones are also a fav but i find myself listening to less heavy stuff these days ( maybe i am getting old) I understand what you mean about being unable to leave your room too, i am just getting over that now and starting to venture out for the first time in about 6 months, scary stuff. I get tingling in my arms ad hands and panic breathing when i go out but its getting better. The world can be so scary that it is easier to just stay in sometimes but then look at all we miss out on. Do you both live In Brighton? Love to hear more about you, its nice to hear more about people with the same issues, I don't feel so lonely then.

[Alexandra]

I live in Shoreham, but used to go to the meets fairly regularly. Haven't been for a while since work has been getting on top of me, but I'll probably be there the weekend after next if you want to come along? I could meet you somewhere beforehand if you don't feel so comfortable meeting a bunch of people in one go Just let me know!

[stresspuppy]

A cautious reminder to keep ourselves safe, if meeting someone we don't know. Like our meets - public enough to attract attention, if needed, and somewhere familiar and comfortable to you. 

[Alexandra]

^^ Also remember that I do kung fu

[Alexandra]

Lol although of course your advice goes without saying

[Jupiter]

Hi Alexandra, its ok I do kickboxing as well so we will both be able to defend ourselves!!! lol. I would love to come to a meet but not sure I can swing it at the moment. I live in Horsham and dont have UK drivers licence so my husband would have to drive me there as I would be too scared to get train at night to Brighton. The meets seem to be at night as well and I have a 5 month old baby that needs to be in bed at 7.30 and I feed her again at 10pm, I am breastfeeding so kinda stuck. Maybe when I stop breastfeeding I will be able to come along and she could sleep in her carrier at the meeting. We are moving to Brighton at the end of the year so I will be free to come along to all the meeting then! Anyway will keep you posted if I am able to come along at some stage before we move. Oh and thanks for the offer of meeting up beforehand, I probably would as walking into a cafe meeting a bunch of strangers would be pretty scary for me right now.
p.s. Oh, and thanks Stresspuppy for the concern, much appreciated!